Monkey Mind ...

' Monkey mind ' is an attempt to capture a running monologue in a person's mind. Read on .

You trick me at times
Will you come for my rescue ?
You make me loose control 
And I emerge weak 
You are stubborn
And keep me wandering
Across random graying alleys
I give up, and you win.

For all I know
I am lost 
Lost far far away
From where I see myself growing 
Rising against odds of my mind you are creating
Seems just impossible. 

Oh, my dear mind!
Enough of this monkey business 
Can we have our symphony now ? 
I am nothing without you
Help me fill up this void 
Like you've always done so far.
Please don't abandon me now
I assure, I will thrive well in your company.
Come, walk along with me in harmony.

In a flash …

' In a flash ... '  is a short poem , which tries to put forth the awakening cognitions with one's own self, across a short journey through time, in a flash of a moment.

I pause …

I look back, beyond time 

I see, zillion reasons to smile and cheer

Still, for all the unspoken struggles

which made me weak

A tear rolls down, and I smile.

I learned it the hard way all through

And emerged stronger, even before I knew.

I pause … 

And I try to see, beyond time

How the days to come will be ?

I hope to see, zillion reasons to smile and cheer

But for the silent thoughts, 

The slow growing web, spun by all expectations unheard.

Will I fall a prey to it ? 

And get hurt, from no one else 

But myself … 

I pause …

And look around, 

The bright sun and the blue skies -

The chirping of the birds, 

And the gentle breeze persuading me 

To believe in the moment.

The 'Now' which is so much alive

And I feel energized.

I pause ...

I laugh out loud,

At my fears and anticipations

which suddenly disappeared 

In the moment called 'Now'

And I walk ahead,

with this new realization

For the joy of conquest

begins here, with myself.

Irony ...

I call it , "Irony of a geek developer's girlfriend "

Wish I was some piece of code -

you would have spent time with me more,

Analysed every bit of me,

Loved me more passionately

And made me complete.

But today I am jealous of the code you write -

Such an irony but true in reality .

PS : all characters are imaginary ... no resemblance to any person dead or alive :P

The power of silence ..

This the latest of the poems I wrote. Its about the musings of a gal about her latest crush :)

I see him ...
And I ponder over the hundred thoughts I have of him-
He sees me too ..
I wonder , if he thinks about me, as much as I do .
I pause , the very moment I catch a glimpse of him
And my eyes in ecstasy , glimmer ,all for him,I feel-
I hesitate , even to smile, which is so unlike me -
No doubt, his magic works so well on me .
I have been crazy all the while -
But somehow, seeing him, I forget all my style -
If only silence can do all these and more ..
I stupor, going ahead , what all is in store ! :)

Cheers,
Rani :)

Wayward Lover

This poem is an attempt to put forth the cognitions of a wayward lover , who is juggling between love ,responsilities and expectations . Finding no solace admist so many things, the lover just prays to God for a resolute mind . Read more to understand it better from the eyes of the wayward lover.Pure work of fiction, no strings attached.

I lose my mind when I cant be in touch with you ..
Time and again I come up with ideas anew..
Still means to reach you are so very few
How do I make you understand my point of view ?

Not finding you around is making me go blind
I find no answers in my cluttered mind..
How will I know,if this is Love?
Give me more signs, Oh my Lord above -

I remember your words, Baby, dont give up on me -
Just musings about you,everything else I oversee -
I dont even know ,When was I last esprit?
Why you had to leave me and fly overseas ?

Is this Love ?
Show me some signs, to talk of-
How will I know, if this is love?
Make me realize, oh my Lord, whom I am proud of !

I dont understand the pain I feel-
I dont even know if this wound would ever heal ?
Why am I , even now, charmed by your sex appeal-
Why cant you just be by my side,and our lips seal-
Why this has to be a complex deal ?

Is this Love?
How will I know, if this is love ?
Just make me resolute ,oh my Lord !
I will thank you each day ,in accord !

memory lane

I call this poem which I wrote some days back as -'memory lane' . Here it goes....

I dont give you the right to hurt me
When I am no-one to you
Why should I be hurt by the things you do
For I know I have been insane
In love for you
Jump out of my memory lane
But you never understood
What you meant to me .

Life's been harsh on me
Same like the way you treated me
It was my fault for sure
For you were always obscure
Jump out of my memory lane
I can no longer bear the pain
But you never understood
How much you meant to me.

Sometimes I feel misunderstood
For I did all what I could
I am trying... but still feel the pain
Please jump out of my memory lane
Let my efforts not go in vain
Let me start living again
Because you never understood
How much your love mattered to me .

blissed !!

thoughts flow as words...and here is the poem which i wrote down last night .....

On the porch I sat after a long tiring day
Trying to hear what my heart had to say ..
Up above the clear night sky over me
I could see a star twinkling at me .
The chilly breeze made my nose numb-
The thought of 'him' , made my heart jump
Wish we could hold hand-in-hand..
With dreams to take off to the fantasy land.
The skyline twinkled with a stary mile ..
The blissful gusto made me smile..
The moment was made special by the moon..
How I wished I could meet 'him' soon -

.......

I managed to write a poem three days back... I don know what was the motivation behind this or should I call it demotivation ... Maybe I can put it out as imaginary "me" .. not sure ... Anyways , I am happy I managed to write something after ages ...its still crude ... but still OK to start back my passion for writing ...

Here it goes ...

Someday when you have no missed calls to see -
no unread messages , waiting for you in your inbox ..
You realise - how much you miss me !!

If I was you , I would never ever
Kept you waiting for me ...
All my time would be yours ..
All my priorities would be you ...
Maybe thats why --
You never reliased -
how much I loved you..

And some today on a future day
You feel the pain
when things are not the same
between you n me....
A tear rolls down ..
and you realise ..
How much you are missing me today !!

Time and again ..
you had chance ..
To love me back .. .
but you were busy filling the sack ...
with all money and all wealth ..
in midst of all this I lost my health ...
time changed , so did I
the world crumpled down for me
lost me for ever ,you never even know how....
and you are realizing it only now .

~Rani :)

Kshna, aa Kshna :-)

Hope you enjoyed reading my poem in kannada!

सपनें

इन्द्र दनुष के रंगों से सजाया था दुनिया मेरा
लगाने लगा था मदमस्त खुशियों का ढेरा
बह चले सारे रंग बादलों के गरजने से
चुप चाप उतर चला नशा,इस मेले से ||

सोचने से भी लगता है डर
क्या फिर से टपकेंगे सपनें बनकर ?
कैसे जेलूँ में हकीकत का वार
क्या यही है ज़िंदगी का सार ? ||

सपनें तो सपनें ही होतें हैं
सच में तो कुछ भी नहीं होतें हैं
उदास न हो ओ सपनों के सौधागर
आयेगा ज़िंदगी में तेरे कोई जादूगर ||

समझ लो अच्छे से यह देववाणी
डूँढों हिम्मत से ,भूलों परेशानी
तैरों जी जान से जीवन के हर लहर पर से
पाओगे हरदम आशा आत्मविश्वास अपने दिल से ! ||

Rennaissance Again :-)

Frivolously wounded among the timely blades
Vivacious manifestations of 'WAIT' being played-
When will the melodies rise again in rhythm?
Will eons of chimera stagnate seldom?

Why my fate this damn cacophonous?
No answers echoed out in synchronous-
Why my heart in-sync with offbeat?
While space around humming tunes of cadence and greet!

All around I searched for peace and solace-
Not once within my 'self-made' case I gazed-
Arcane hassles of grief,fate and wait-
Cognition of self opens up newer gates!

Rewrite your song in glory and renaissance
The whole world will sing out with you in utmost eminence
Prophecy over the thunderous'WAIT' rupturing the fatal chords
Thats the elysian provided by the LORDS!

My castle in the sky :-)

From eternity,the moon,stars and the night sky have been beatifying the world with the essence of love and euphoria procreating a fantasy to be lived for.Such is the magic of the moon and stars which has given way to numerous great literatures of love , romance , imagination, inspiration and what not, which indeed are glorifying.I m just another commoner.How could I not fall under the spell of MOON???The following lines which are in kannada is the result of moon jinx over me.
Enjoy maadi!! :-)

Dedicated to all parents!!!

When things dont turn out our way
Whom do we cry out our heart and say-
Why did I fall again in life?
When will I come out of this strife?

Holding your hands, you will find them near
Answering,reassuring all your fears-
Each dark tunnel ends up in light
Keep patience till it comes to sight.

Showing me God's world,all these years
They are your very own parents dear
They are the ones whom you cant replace
For bringing you up in all grace.

You will find them with you,in your thick and thin
Making you stronger from deep within-
No one ever will love you more
Than your parents,thats for sure.

MY FIRST POEM !!

I wrote this poem when I was in std 8. Enjoy reading!!!

Like an innocent child
Who longs for playful toys;
The 'I' longed for someone,
Who would bring a message of joy.

Hide and seek,
Is the child's favorite game,
But the lonely 'I' seeked,
For a gem with a pure name.

Lost among the woods while playing,
The child cried for the way of outgoing;
Lost in the woods of people with dignified ways,
The 'I' cried for a listener,who would hear what the confused heart say.
The way out lightened-
And the child's face happily brightened;
The search came to an end,
As 'I' found a best friend.